Week 11 - Reflective Entry

My role as a coach:

This time I realized that finding questions wasn’t difficult. Usually this has been almost a stress factor for me, because I was always so preoccupied with making sure that I was asking the right questions and the questions that matter. Over time this has become increasingly easier, as I’ve been able to relax more and to get familiar with the process. And this time it was almost like the questions came to me. This week’s assignment is very intriguing and personal, and we all have different aspects to share. I found my coachee’s story interesting, his perspective of this assignment differed from mine and I wanted to learn why this was the case. I was able to ask clarifying questions, and I felt my questions also provided some reflections for my coahee. My coachee had focused a lot on his authentic self within the work life, and I asked him to clarify why, and also to reflect more on his personal life. This lead me to realize that his wish to change the functions of the industry in fact was part of his personal beliefs, and that he felt this could best be accomplished through his work life.

We were also able to reflect around his experience with presencing. He talked about a certain point during the exercise where he felt that he was truly presencing, and felt that in this moment he could have listened very well to a potential coachee. Then I asked if he had been in this state of mind around people before. We reflected a bit around this, because the concept of presencing is relatively new to all of us, and so it was somewhat challenging to think of a situation where this might have happened in the past, before we knew about the concept. All in all, I felt I was able to utilize the five key processes in a constructive manner during this session. The process of catalyzing however, I still find somewhat challenging.

My role as a coachee:

As a coachee, I was asked specifically about my comment about equal rights for men and women. For me this was an example in regards to my reflection around whether or not I am able to “walk the talk”. It was to show that I worry about my actions not conveying my thoughts.

We also talked about my fear of upsetting people. Could upsetting people perhaps be a good thing? If they are truly mistaken and they are upsetting others, perhaps they need to have an attitude adjustment? And although I do agree with this, when I talk back to people in an aggressive tone, I always feel so guilty after. Thus leading me to try to avoid this feeling, by avoiding uncomfortable situations.

I was also asked about whether or not this fear of what other people think about me is hindering my potential. And I would have to say yes to this. If I have an idea, that I think is good and might work, but I worry about what other people might think, I may decide to not share this idea with other team members. This is of course a problem, and something that I need to work through, in order for me to become more secure and also more aligned with myself - more in harmony. I need to find a way to relax more around people in order for me to be m authentic self around others.

Ingrid Elisabeth Sørensen