Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Reflective entry about Field 4


Because it was -7°C outside I didn’t go outside to do the exercise of this coaching cession but I found a calm place with a good view in my building. I started to relax. I noticed that for me it is easier to relax when I’m sitting in the cross-legged way. It has always been that way. When I was relaxed I tried to think and to focus about who I am, I really tried hard not to think about my past. Sometimes my mind rambled so I had to focus again on what I was thinking again. I realized that I’m never doing that: taking deep moments of reflection about myself. I really want to do it more in order to know myself better.  But that process it hard, it really takes a lot of energy but I think that in a long term perspective it can help me to figure out who I really am.

Right now is the perfect period for me to do that exercise because I’m going to be graduated very soon and I don’t know what I want to do, partly because I don’t know who I am. The main thing which I thought about was I want to do meaningful things in my life (and more particularly in my professional life). I don’t want to only occupy a function. While I was reflecting the main image which came into my mind was to change the world and in particular the business practices. It was the feeling I had in the background of my precise thoughts. It wasn’t a clear image but just a “mental feeling”. On top of that I had more precise thoughts about me traveling and involving myself professionally in different cultures. The main feeling I had was that this whole concept of changing how the business world is ruled was possible. I really had the feeling that, in the future, I could reach it. The main mean to do so appeared to be discussion and contact with people. I was picturing myself interacting with people. I really had the feeling of being someone fully integrated to the world and even if each individual is only 1/6 500 000 000th of the world population I had the feeling that each singe individual accounted. At this moment I could feel that I was more self confident and fully aware to the others, if I would have been with people I knew I would have been nice and very understanding with them. I knew that if I would have done a coaching cession at that moment I would have listened to my coachee very well and I would have been able to feel what he/she wanted to say. 

I understood during that exercise some conditions I needed to feel that feeling that I’m calling presencing: I need my mind to be free of problems and not to think about anything from the everyday life which is bothering me. I can remember me feeling presencing and it was always after I was deliberated from a high amount of problems. To me, the harder part would be to feel that I’m free of problems. I need to find solution to put a powerful filter between my mind and my environment. I need to change my perception of what is problem and how they affect me.

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