Week 6 - Reflective Entry

I think our coaching session went really well today. I felt my team members had interesting experiences to talk about, and I was curious to hear their opinions on how they tried to suspend their judgment.

As a coach this time, I tried to balance my role between asking clarifying questions and also trying to focus on the assignment at hand. I found that it was somewhat difficult to ask open-ended questions, and I realized that perhaps my questions this time were a bit leading. Luckily I realized this during the session, so I tried to shift my perspective and focus more on how I asked the questions. Instead of asking “Did you feel that…” I asked “How did you feel when…”. In fact, when I think about it now, it almost sounds as if I practiced suspension during our conversation! Because I assumed that he would feel a certain way, so I asked in a way that would confirm my assumptions. But when I realized that I did this, I tried to change my pattern.

As a coachee I felt that my coach was able to make me realize new perspectives. In particular, he asked me about my purpose when going over there. Did I plan to offer a solution? And I realized that I hadn’t thought that through. My goal was only for the noise to stop, I hadn’t given any thought as to how it would stop. Luckily for me, the person in the room came up with her own solution, but if that hadn’t been the case, I’m not sure what I would have done. And this realization I found very interesting. Because the way I approached this problem didn’t really offer a constructive solution, but if I had gone over there with a suggestion, perhaps the conversation would have been even more beneficial. So I realized that I need to focus on the purpose of a conversation, and ways that I can contribute to it.

I was also asked to clarify my emotions. Because, as I mentioned in my blog, this had gone on for a while, so I was becoming increasingly more annoyed. And after having read this assignment and trying to suspend my judgment, that’s when I noticed my physical reaction of being frustrated (the teeth clenching and so on). Before I had just been frustrated, I hadn’t really been aware of how it affected me, both mentally and physically. And I think that my emotions were probably enhanced by suppressing my feelings. Because I knew that confronting her would be unpleasant, I tried to avoid it for as long as I could, hoping it would disappear on its own.

All in all, I feel this coaching session was interesting, and allowed me to view my situation in a different light. I now feel clearer on what I should do the next time I approach a difficult situation, and hopefully suspension will become easier with time.