I live at
the residence, in one of the dorm rooms, and I’ve lived here for about six
weeks now. Usually when I’m not in school, I like to study in my room, because
it’s (supposed to be) quiet and has few distractions. But for the last two weeks,
almost on a daily basis, there has been loud, excessive noise coming from one
of the other rooms - A woman who appears to be talking with her friend on the
phone or on Skype. And she is so loud, it almost sounds like she’s screaming
when she talks, and when she laughs she makes an awful shrieking noise that it’s
hard not to shudder from.
For the
first few days, it actually didn’t bother me too much. But after a while I
started to become really annoyed with it. The conversations were always so
long. It started to affect my studying, because I would get interrupted from
the sounds, and then get annoyed, and then have to calm myself. The last time
it happened, I tried to practice suspension. I realized that whenever I heard
her my stomach would start turning, I’d start breathing more heavily and I
would clench my teeth. I would get really provoked, wondering how she could be
so inconsiderate of the other people living her. I judged her, and I thought
she didn’t care and I disliked her for not considering us. Especially when it
happened during the evenings.
I often
thought about going over there and pound on her door and almost yell at her for
not being so loud. But whenever I’m so frustrated that I want to yell at
another person, I always think about what will happen after. For example in
this case, how would it be when I ran into her in the hallway, or in the
elevator? I didn’t really know her too well yet, so the potential for awkward
situations was quite high. I was often in the doorway, just listening and
evaluating if I should go or not, but I always ended up not doing anything
about it.
But the
last time it happened, I thought enough was enough. I was so tired of the constant
noise. I tried to calm myself, and took a few deep breaths. But every time I
exhaled, there she was again. So it was really difficult to try and calm down.
I sat for a couple of minutes, not focusing on my work, not focusing on
anything in particular. I just closed my eyes, and tried to think rationally,
which I find is really hard when you’re irritated and want to let out some
steam. But I tried. And I sat there listening to her talking loudly with her
friend. I decided that this was the time I would go out and talk to her.
When I got
to the door, I actually noticed that it wasn’t the person living in the room
that made all the noise, but rather the person she was talking to. She just had
the sound on way to loud. Either way, I knocked on the door, and after a few
seconds I heard her say “excusez-moi” to her friend on the phone, and she came
and opened the door. She looked a bit surprised, because I had never been to
her room before, we had only talked in the hall, so she didn’t really expect to
see me there. I shortly introduced myself and where I lived, and then I went on
to explaining why I was there. I told her calmly that the hour was getting
late, and that the rooms weren’t really soundproof so I could hear her and her
friend quite well. I told her I was finding it difficult to study because of it
as well. I was afraid she would get mad and tell me to mind my own business,
but she immediately turned red, and apologized. She didn’t realize that other
people could hear her. She told me that she would Skype quite often with her
sister, and when she did, the reception was often very poor, so she had to turn
up the volume on her computer.
At first when
I talked to her, I found it somewhat difficult to remain calm and rational in
my tone of voice. But I focused hard on not trying to sound accusing with what
I had to say. And when I realized that she wasn’t aware of the noises she had
made, I was really glad that I didn’t come over there in an aggressive state of
mind, ready to yell at her for something she didn’t even know she was doing. So
experiencing my feelings of frustration before I went over there, and being
aware of them, I think really helped me stay focused, and helped me not suddenly
attack her for being insensitive. I also tried to suspend my judgment, and
allow for her to explain what was going on. After we had cleared the air, we
stood there talking for a few more minutes, about the upcoming midterms and so
on. But then she remembered that her sister was still on Skype, so she had to
get back to her. But it was really nice to be able to have a normal
conversation after my confrontation, and to realize that in fact no harm was
done. I felt more lighthearted, and was glad I had gone over there, and found
out that she was in fact quite a nice person.
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