Saturday, March 23, 2013

Coaching Assignment week 8 - Reflective Entry


My role as a coach:
Before this week’s assignment, I decided to brush up on the five key processes, and read about them just before I had my coaching meeting. I felt this made me focus extra on my role as a coach, because I had it fresh in mind, and I was able to think about it during the whole coaching session. When I was the coach, I noticed that this time the questions came a bit more naturally. I found that I was genuinely interested in learning the answers to my questions and to get clarification about certain aspects.

What was interesting this time, was that while I was trying to get a certain clarification from my coachee, I felt that he continued to repeat some of the answers he had already given. For me, this posed a challenge, because I didn’t know how to ask the question differently, in order for him to better understand what I was looking for. So I had to restrain myself from not asking leading questions that would somehow influence his answer.

After the coaching session, our observer mentioned that perhaps we were in fact talking about the same thing, only we used a different vocabulary. This was clearer for him, because he was observing the conversation and did not have the same mindset as my coachee and I did. But the aspect of vocabulary really interested me. As a coach you are supposed to help your coachee develop a deeper understanding for his actions, and help him see things in a different way. But if our vocabulary differs, how can we be sure that we in fact understand each other? So from now on I will try and focus more on making sure that we both have the same understanding of the issues at hand.

My role as a coachee:
As a coachee, I was able to look at myself on a more personal level. My coach focused a lot on asking clarifying questions – why did I feel the way I did? And even though I might have had some ideas as to why before, having to articulate my thoughts helped me realize that I am in fact somewhat bound by my fears. I fear what the outcome will be if I make the wrong choice and I fear what people will think of me if I choose the wrong option. So I tend to stay in my comfort zone, where the risk of being judged is minimized. In a situation as the one I found myself in this week, staying in the comfort zone feels safe. In reality, what often happens is that after we have had a discussion about what to do, we take a vote, and I will usually go with the majority, because I have faith in my teammates being able to make the right decision. The question then becomes, why don’t I have faith in myself? And this is what I tried to improve this week, by taking a more active role and bringing another suggestion to the table.

My coach also made an interesting remark when wondering how I stayed invisible. For me it was never about being invisible. In fact, I don’t consider myself to be. I actively share my reflections when discussing, the only thing is that I rarely am able to say “this is better than this”. So even though I can assess whether or not something is a good choice, I find it difficult to tell if it is better or worse than another option. And this will always be the case. You can never know up front what will happen in the future. For me this is difficult, because I like to know that when I make a decision, it’s the right one. And I think this is what is leading me to become a bystander in a group. I wish so badly to see a hint of how the future will look like, so that I can assess it and assess the options, and then make an informed decision. I need to learn how to let go of this fear of making a mistake. I know it is human to make mistakes, and yet when it comes to myself, I can’t accept it.

Ingrid Elisabeth Sørensen

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