A good coach by Ingrid Sorensen

Before having read anything about coaching, I viewed it as a one-on-one session, where the coach would try to teach the coachee something. But after reading more about it, I realized that the focus was not on the coach and his knowledge, but on the coachee and his learning process.

The main objective, as I see it, is to help the coachee towards self-realization. It’s not about telling him what to do or how to do it, it’s more about helping him and guiding him along the way. If the coachee has a problem, it’s not the coach’s job to tell him how to solve it, but to help the coachee realize how to solve the problem himself. I remember seeing a short film about the coach’s job, where the coach would provide the coachee with the tools to handle his problem, but also provide a safety net, should things go wrong. So in a way the coach is a supporting actor, helping you get to where you want to go.

But what is a good coach? A good coach, in my eyes, does not give you the answers. He helps you realize them on your own. One way to do this, is through inquiries. A good coach can ask leading questions, and help you to structure your own thoughts. I think it is important for the coach to focus on goal achievement, so that you realize what you want. It’s about developing the coachee as a person, to help him become more self-aware. But to be able to do this, it’s also very important to build trust among the coach and coachee. Without trust it will be difficult for the coachee to open up, and truly be honest with both the coach and himself.

Trust is also essential because some might find it challenging to be coached. We all fear change, and being coached naturally entails change, because you are opening up to new possibilities and new ways of thinking. For some this might seem scary, so a coach needs to focus on making the coachee feel safe, empowered and ready for change.

There are five key processes that a coach can utilize in a coaching situation. These are listening, mirroring, summarizing, questioning and catalyzing. Personally, I feel that these five processes are all part of one great process. Listening is of course the base for the whole coaching session. It’s important for the coachee to feel heard and to feel that his perspective and his thoughts matter.  And you show that you listen by following the four next processes and perhaps highlighting some of the key words he used. The fifth key process, catalyzing, seems like a more active role, where you show your commitment and passion for wanting to help the coachee. This, I believe, will in turn motivate the coachee and help build trust.

So to sum it up, I believe a good coach helps you realize what you want and how to get there.